Shower in a Box

Shower in a Box

Last week a large box appeared on our doorstep. Tonight we were FINALLY all at home and of somewhat sane minds (that's questionable, anyway...) so we decided to celebrate Paxton's 2 week birthday with cake and by opening "the box". We opened "the box" and a balloon flew out - so funny! It was full of gifts from our sweet family at Pleasant Valley C of C in Little Rock. They had gotten together and sent gifts in the form of a shower in a box. We were overwhelmed by the generosity and thoughtfulness of our dear friends. Our friends at PV were there for us when we had Bailey, Beckham and Olivia and they didn't let the 15 hours that separate us geographically keep them from celebrating Paxton's birth. We are so blessed to have such loyal, caring and thoughtful friends.

True to form, the kids enjoyed the box the best and had fun posing for pictures. Paxton even got in on the action. Here are some pictures my mom took during our "shower". Thanks to all who thought of us. We love you and miss you!

Yes, Bailey's in her swimsuit and Beckham is in his skivvies. It's hot here in Florida!

Beckham tried on a pair of 6 month pants...

Party animal Paxton!

Paxton passed out from all the partying!

FINALLY- pictures of the baby!

Paxton Dean King

We finally decided on a name for the little guy...Paxton Dean King. Dean is in honor of Greg's dad who passed away several years ago, and Paxton - well, we just liked that name. Bailey had the final decision on names and Paxton Dean is what she chose.

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Little man weighed in at 6 lbs. 11 oz and was 19 1/4 inches long. We didn't make it to the scheduled c-section for Thursday the 16th. Paxton decided to come a few days early on Monday, April 13th at 12:38 pm via c-section. My water broke around 1am on Monday so around 4:30am I woke Greg and Beckham up (Bailey was spending the night with a friend because they didn't have school Monday) and we went to the hospital. After confirming that it was amniotic fluid and not something else a c-section was scheduled for noon. Although I've had 4 c-section I've been "privileged" to still have to endure actual labor for 3 of them. Do my kids love me or what?!!!! Luckily noon came pretty quickly so I wasn't uncomfortable for too long.

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I was disappointed that my parents weren't able to be there for the actual birth, but my mom was able to change her flight and was there in less than 24 hours and my dad came as originally planned on Wednesday. The hospital only kept us for 2 nights so we were home by Wednesday. It was a crazy several days with lots of stories to tell, but the short version is that our sweet baby boy is healthy and we are home enjoying lots of cuddle time together. I feel much better now that the 20 staples have been removed from the incision site. I am taking it easy and am so thankful to have help from my mom, Greg, and the kids. I am looking forward to feeling 100% very soon! We've had so many kind people bring food and offer to help. I also had a dear friend fly in from Little Rock on Monday with her little girl. She was so helpful and I really enjoyed getting to spend time with her.

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The birth experience was a very happy occasion and we were able to put past sad experiences behind us and truly enjoy meeting our son. This is such an answered prayer. The sound of Paxton's first cry was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. What a blessing he will be to our family.
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Here are some pictures for you to enjoy. Many more to come!

Easter 2009

In really terrible order, but you get the idea! Hope you had a really Happy Easter!

Check

We are down to the wire now! 6 days!

Last OB appointment- check.

Bags packed - check.

Big Brother and Sister Shirts for the kids - check.

Manicure and Pedicure - check.

Baby Clothes washed - check.

Diapers/wipes - check.

You get the idea! My parents will arrive on Wednesday and then bambino will come on Thursday if all goes as planned. I am trying to take it easy. Having lots of aches and pains but nothing that makes me think that it's time to go to the hospital. We'll see! Greg doesn't think I'll make it but I am trying to will myself to get to the 16th!

Bailey took some belly shots of me yesterday. This is my big ole belly at almost 39 weeks! Outside Beckham decided to imitate me by putting a ball under his shirt and Greg even got in on the action when he got home from work. It's kind of disturbing but so silly you have to laugh!

Enjoy!

Emotional Island

We are close to meeting our little boy. I mean-any day type of close! In some ways I feel like this has been the longest pregnancy in the history of the world and in others it seems inconceivable that we will be adding to our family so soon. Technically the date is in 13 days but we'll see.

When I am having a difficult time I tend to become paralyzed. Verbally catatonic. This pregnancy has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Elation at the thought of FINALLY leaving a hospital with a baby in my arms. Fear at knowing how much can go wrong in a pregnancy. Back to excitement assuming that THIS time everything will go fine. Oh no, back to bad test results and spotting early on...faith shaken again. Reassured by modern technology that everything is fine again. Feeling a tad bit skeptical to say the least! Finally time to prepare a nursery. Hit by the thoughts of all the things we were never able to prepare for Olivia while trying to enjoy the new preparations. Such a strange and difficult array of constantly changing emotions.

This past spring I've done the Beth Moore Esther study. I only had one lesson not completed. Determined to finally have a study book that didn't have ANY blank pages (you know what I mean if you've ever done one of her studies) I went back a few days ago to complete week 8. I know that without a doubt God had me wait to do that study right now when I needed it most.

Back to me being paralyzed when I am struggling. For a long while now I've just dealt with all these emotions by turning inward. Not communicating with friends or family. Just stuck inside my own head and refusing to push myself to ask for their support or help. This week I have been pushed to face my issues and to move forward. I have known the intellectual way to deal with my fears and sadness, but my intellect had no chance at overriding my emotions. No chance at all. In lesson 8 Beth Moore wrote a sentence that really summed up my emotions over the past 9 months.

Sometimes two emotions mix like vinegar and baking soda and the heart erupts like a volcano.

Bingo.

These emotions have kept my world so rocked for so long now that I just couldn't even start to understand my own emotions, much less express them to anyone else. When I do manage to feel happy about the new baby I feel guilty. When I don't feel pure joy I feel bad as well. How can happiness and mourning coexist? That's when your heart literally feels as if it will erupt.

So I've been at a crossroads. Like I said, lately I've had nudging to face things head on and quit using the "ignore it and you won't have to face it" tactic that I've been clinging to. As I continued working on my Bible study I found another jewel:

Sad is the soul that determines to exist as an emotional island. Disconnected people can never be whole. Vulnerable and painful though it may be, a community of people whose lives are tied together by the tender strings of the heart is life the way God meant it to be lived.

Ok Lord. I hear you. I get it. FINALLY. The week of study goes on to encourage us to take advantage of the moments when a time of happiness comes:

When God intervenes in our circumstances and we get a chance not only to know we're blessed but feel blessed, nothing is more appropriate than seizing the happy moment. "A time of happiness" can come like a shot of B-12 to the soul to boost your system when darkness spreads once again like a virus.

Guess what? I've decided to get off of my emotional island and get into the life raft that God has been providing for me every day of my spiritual walk with him. I was just too stubborn to climb aboard and let him carry me ashore.

Before I finish this post I want to apologize to those that I've hurt. Why do we hurt and shut out those that love us the most? Another tough life lesson, but hopefully a lesson that I've now learned.

Thank you for all the emails and kind words you've left during my blogging hiatus. Keep us in your prayers during the next week and a half. And no, we don't have a name picked out yet! :)

Pictures of all things baby coming soon! For now, here are two from a wonderful shower that was given to us at Greg's office.