The past several weeks I have done a lot of soul searching. This is what I concluded: if I had a "life" report card I would be sporting a D average.
I don't want to be on the D list. I want to be a great mom, a great friend, a loving wife, a super Christian, a cheery daughter, an awesome sister. But I'm not. I have felt very stuck for the past 20 months.
I know what I want to be, but can't seem to get there. I think of the "I know what to do but do not do what I want to do" scripture once again.
I know how to be a great mom but my kids still get way less than 100%.
Greg for sure gets the raw end of the deal although I know the scriptures on being a virtuous woman by heart.
I've been taking more from my friends than I have been giving back and many days I'm amazed that they still love me.
I want to be the sister who does all the thoughtful things and verbalizes how much I love my siblings but I don't tell them nearly as often as I think it.
I want to honor my mother and father in every way. They totally deserve it- yet my body language and "tone" still betray me.
I think of my grandparents daily, but don't pick up the phone. Not even weekly.
There's my dirty laundry for everyone to see. I'm not posting it to get sympathy. I'm posting it because I need accountability. I am tired of trying to "pretend" that I have things in order and that my life runs smoothly. The funny thing is that people who REALLY know me well already know all of this about me. The crazy part is that you still care about me and put up with me. To you I ask that you not give up on me.
So...I'm working on things. I might have not made straight A's in high school, but I AM NOT a D average student!
I feel better now.
By the way, Tessa, thank you for telling me about the Focus on the Family broadcast. Boy did it help!
Monday, July 28, 2008
My life on the D list
Posted by Shannon at Monday, July 28, 2008 16 comments
Monday, July 21, 2008
It had to happen...
(A quick note to my kindred spirit: you know how sometimes just hearing the voice of someone you miss so much is more than you can bear? That's where I'm at right now. Miss you more than you will ever know. Hoping to talk to you soon. By the way, Bailey and I think that your version of Never Let Go is 100% better!)
Posted by Shannon at Monday, July 21, 2008 8 comments
Monday, July 14, 2008
House pictures
I've had several people ask about pictures of our new house. I tried to get Bailey in the picture, but she wasn't very cooperative! I'm not posting pictures of the inside yet. It's getting there, but not picture ready.
Can you find Bailey? :)
Can you tell which way the wind blows? Look at our poor little tree...
Posted by Shannon at Monday, July 14, 2008 13 comments
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Matt Jones is a dork and other updates
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080710/ap_on_sp_fo_ne/fbn_jaguars_jones_arrest
Ok, now that I have that off my chest, I can go on.
Beck had so much fun cooking with Nina (Can you tell we've been watching Ratatouille?)
We went to St. Augustine over the holiday weekend. It's a neat place to visit. They have a cool fort that was fun to tour. They had some volunteers dressed up who shot canons. It was neat, but the kids were a little nervous about it!
The fort at St. Augustine
My mom helped Bailey during the canon demonstration
I couldn't resist taking a picture of one of the volunteers "hard at work"
We joined a YMCA that is really cool. It seems more like a country club. So far we've only used the pool area but I hear that they also have some good exercise classes. Hopefully in the next week or two I'll try one out! I may become a Zumba dance expert! They also have a class for kids to learn Zumba. Is that "legal" in the C of C? :)
We've visited a few churches and will continue to search for a new church home. It's been very difficult to move from a 1,300 member church to visiting churches with around 300 members. The people have been wonderful-super nice and friendly. I'm just wondering where all the young people are? We were so blessed at PV to have so many kids and young families. Greg and I feel that it is so important for the kids to have other children at church to worship with. In Bailey's class Sunday morning there was only one other child that was in her same grade. The Wednesday before that (at a different church) there weren't ANY! In addition, there were so few kids there on a Wednesday, that Bailey and Beckham were in the same class. Yep, a three year old in there with not only 2nd graders, but all the way up to 5th graders. Again, the people are wonderful and helpful and great...but the young families are MIA. We are determined to find a good fit that will be good for our entire family and most importantly, the kids. All that said, we miss everyone terribly at PV and want to remind all of you there what an amazing worship situation you have.
I realize that we can view this as a mission field. I am really trying. However, after the year and a half we have just had in addition to moving our family 13 hours away we feel that we need a time of refueling-even for just a short time. I honestly don't feel that I have much to give right now. Everyday I am treading water for myself and the kids-just trying to maintain some kind of "normal". There will be a time in the near future when Greg and I feel ready to roll up our sleeves and jump on in. Right now our hearts are still heavy with the loss of Olivia and all of our family in Arkansas. I am in prayer that God will lead us to a place where we can both heal, grow and renew our zeal.
I didn't intend for this to be a debbie downer post. Just a little venting. Florida is a great place to live. Just feeling a little homesick. We'll be leaving the house in a little while to go to Target (which has palm trees in front of it) and as we go we'll pass through a beautiful harbor full of sail boats. So....life isn't bad here! It's just very far away from those we love!
On the way home from St. Augustine we stopped by the beach for a quick walk. There were lots of seagulls and the kids had fun chasing them. Look how tan the kids are already getting.
The kids loved feeding the seagulls. Beck was going crazy!
Have a great week! Next post will be positive!!!
Posted by Shannon at Thursday, July 10, 2008 12 comments
Labels: church, florida, matt jones, mom and dad






